Kates Blog

Once upon a time, in a land down the street, my good amigas, Rainizzle, and Marizca and I went on a super dooper, amazing, intense, supercalifragalistic adventure. Wll, not really. Now, since we are all secret superheroes, we have code names. We are like power rangers. We are like Batman, Robin, and Alfred. We are like ninja turtles. We are a threesome of crime fighting amigas. Rainizzle, a 5′2″, skinny, Puerto Rican, has the ability to transform into a pteradactyl. With this power, she has saved me from now only lawn gnomes, flying killer whales, but also the squirelpians that inhabit my sock drawer. Marizca, a 5′1″ stylish Homecoming nominee, has the power to move objects with her mind. Also, she has the abitlity to stretch. She can not only expand her width, but also her height. With this gift, Marisa has fought of Mr. Fanstastic and Magneto. She has protected me from the flying monkies and their bean bombs. I, Lord Kathrie, have a squidray. Now, not a lot of people know what a squidray is, so I will explain. When I point my finger at my enemie, I can squirt out a squid through each of my palms. This squid will suck out the enemies brain and return to my hand with their brain cells and knowledge. This is why I’m the leader of our team, and not to mention, extremely brilliant.

Together, the gang and I fight many villians, but our current villian is Dejahnellie. This villian is strange and unlike all of our previous villians, such as Count Olaf, and Javarokle. She not only has tourettes, but also used cocaine and meth as a teen, thus, she often has outbursts and itches constantly. This is a huge distraction, but also, Marizca, Rainizzle, and I feel sorry for her and don’t want to defeat her. At the same time, we need to stop Dejahnellie from stealing such items as scarfs, shampoo, cough medicine and gum. These are just a couple of the items stolen from the local drug store in the last two days. Plus, her accomplise, Jaybarnizzle, keeps free stylin’. Huge distraction from crime fighting.

One of the raps she sang to me led to become friends with these two supervillians. So, I will tell you about it:

 Katie’s Rap, by Jaybarnizzle:

There is the girl, Her name is Katie Cash. She looks like a model and she kicks hella ass. She’s kinda a whore, always sleeping around. I think one time she did it on a greyhound! She likes to party, she likes to have fun, I think next time we’ll party till the cops come. Guitar Hero, oh yeah, she’s the best. A child prodigy, Uhh, I think yes. Through shes pretty hot, she’s kinda fat. Too many toaster waffles, and we’ll use her as a doormat. She goes to strip clubs, and uses the poles. No, not to dance on, but to flatten her rolls. She likes the Beatles and thinks she can sing. Always belting out those notes, but it makes my ears ring. Despite all these things, she is still great. Even though she dropped Physics after too late. Now it’s the end of Julia’s rhyme. And I hope this is the best one you’ve heard in your lifetime.

And, that, that song right there, thats how we all became friends.